Shyness - a common problem, a lot of embarrassed to admit it. Vicious circle? It looks like it. How to stop being afraid of people, if the very idea of publicity encompasses fear? Numerous recommendations of the same type in the media repeat the same thing: do what you afraid. Strange advice, considering that a shy person can not immediately become the soul of the company and its fear of humans will only increase. The true cause of the problem and fear of other people need to look very different. And we seem to know how to stop being afraid of people.
How to become an extrovert and not ashamed of people?
Characteristics of "natural shyness" is not accidental, but is not completely accurate. In fact, shyness is often innate and conditioned by the type of temperament, personality type. Introverts are more closed and concentrated on inner feelings and are not inclined to actively communicate with other people. Extroverts are sociable and friendly, they like to be around people and make new friends. Therefore, courageous and open people are usually called extroverts, while shy and timid pose "stigma" introvert. Such reckless approach - a big mistake and here's why:
- Absolute type is not seen in every man there is extroverted and introverted traits manifested in a greater or lesser extent . But the real fear of strangers - a permanent feeling. It is consistent with the temperament , but do not depend on it directly. Not all introverts are afraid of people , and the one who is not afraid of people - not necessarily extroverted .
- The fear of socializing with others appears in childhood, but it is not innate , but acquired very early in the study of peace and the formation of self-esteem. Those same children's complexes , which are considered to be the cause of most personal problems in life, make adult unreasonably afraid of other people.
- Shy children can grow up in different families , but education, the ratio of adults and the atmosphere in the house have a strong influence on the attitude of the people . Try to remember how the relationship with the parents and their relationship to you promoted fear of new people .
- Teens fear of new people is explained by changes in the nature and life, growing up and the inability to control himself and to act in unknown circumstances before . In the normal course of life this fear wears off as they grow older .
- Fear of people and stiffness in communication can appear later in life if this will facilitate the event. Stressful situations , failure, public shame is so shocking that a person loses self-confidence and begins to fear a repetition of its failure.
How to stop being afraid of new people?
Please note that the oppression and the fear of having to new people, strangers or friends nodding , while a close circle of friends is seen calmly, without negative emotions. To close relatives and members of the household may experience any feelings of irritation , fatigue , lack of understanding , but not fear. This is obvious , but rarely occurs to formulate . What gives this understanding ? It allows you to make further conclusions :
- Fear of new , unknown people based on self-doubt. Diffident people think that everything notice their flaws , in fact - pay close attention to them and condemn . It's not just a mistake , and even ironic self-confidence ! Well, who cares about you, people full of their own worries! Be aware of this - and the degree of fear decreases .
- Overcoming self-doubt - not an easy job , but it must begin as soon as possible . You can start with the acquisition of skills that would enable you rightly proud. It can be sports, creative , student success - choose according to their inclinations and interests . The main thing is that the attention of others , real or apparent to you, get a decent excuse.
- Work on yourself and achieving goals has another not clear , but a valuable function . Inspired by sports, dance , painting or other hobbies , you will forget about your fear, distracted him . Previously, he was a continuous leitmotif of your life , now recede into the background, periodically will retreat under the pressure of the positive and constructive emotions.
Exactly how to stop being afraid of people?
Specific actions to overcome the fear of the people depend on your main goal. Stop being afraid - too fuzzy concept , when in fact some want to learn how to speak in public , the other - to get acquainted with the opposite sex . Formulate your task to choose the shortest path to its solution :
- To overcome the fear of familiarity with the new person , use the strategy of small steps. Shy girls can start with the most simple : do not take the initiative , and not to abandon the communication when someone is trying to meet . Suppress the first impulse to shut down and to remain silent . Smile , please answer the question. It is not necessary to continue dating , but show affable friendliness - a matter of courtesy .
- The water wears away the stone , and gradually you get used to not be frightened of interest on the part of others. You can then go to the next step : the manifestation of its own initiative. Nameko , no need to rush into a frightening pool with his head . Proceed easier: in line at traffic stops or party , do the following exercise. Ask the guy standing next to the time. This innocent question does not arouse suspicion , but did a great job : bring you out of the stupor into which drives the fear of people.
- Young people hesitate to get acquainted with the girls, too, will approach this exercise . The only difference is that from the guys usually wait more courage and initiative , so that the first question , in the case of the friendly response , you can ask the other has a more specific and personal . And it does not matter whether she wants to continue the conversation . Your task in this case - to bring the skill to automatism small talk and stop being afraid to start a conversation .
- Guys can use ambiguous , but popular technique pickup. Like any tool , pick-up can be measured in different ways , and its effectiveness , and the results depend on the purpose of the one who uses it. Ignore the loud slogans , promising undefeated Laura seducer . Concentrate on the exercise of self-confidence , communicate freely and relaxed mannerisms among the people of the opposite and the same sex.
- The blinders of their fears , you hardly think about the fact that not only are you afraid of people. This is a common complex that people struggle to hide from others. Firstly, it means that you are not unique and are not alone in their misfortune. Secondly, it is an occasion to try to help others who are afraid of people even stronger than you .
- Overcoming the fear of new people, do not try to immediately penetrate into the crowd of strangers and outsiders . Practice in communication among people something close to you, on hobbies , age, interests. Attend workshops, conferences, lectures on topics that interest you . There you will meet a lot of like-minded people and / or allied fields .
The characters of the people around them play an important role in the issue of fear of people. Others may both help and hinder you cease to be afraid of people. It is therefore important to choose carefully the social circle, especially at first. And with myself Reinforce confidence auto-training and rehearsals before a mirror. It may seem banal tricks naive and useless, but they have a positive impact in the complex of measures of self-education. Only in this way, thoroughly and attentively listening to him and working on yourself, you can stop being afraid of the people and to learn almost any skill that you do not have enough to be happy. We wish you strength, confidence and good luck!