Shyness and timidity spoil the great life, whatever may be said by those who are not marked by these qualities. And no matter how we tried to equate the weakness of humility - God really decent - the difference between these concepts, there are considerable. You understand what is at stake if the thought of noisy parties and many strangers causing your fear instead of joyful anticipation. And you probably eat podkisshy cheese from the store than it will need to change. Well, of course, is an exaggeration - you just throw it away, but assert their rights will not.
And how many times have you been "scrubbed" from the queue and you dutifully passed bugger, unable to snap angrily: "You are not standing here!".
To be honest, the sound of his own voice for the shy person sounds like a bolt from the blue - that is why the voices, he tries not to serve.
We will not currently affect the sensitive issue of how shyness adversely affect privacy. Rather, it is killing even the slightest chance to get it . Better just to
Psychologists in one voice say: the root causes of shyness - to dislike. One can not say that all shy people do not like themselves, but a few traits that shy person in itself does not take, it is certainly. Incidentally, shyness, likely to be one of them. What to do? To begin to discover what kind of features. Conduct an internal audit (if not yourself out, and you can with a psychologist), and to find the most unloved quality. Eradicate and fight we will later (if at all necessary). In the meantime, enough to take them for granted - they are, they are part of you, and nothing wrong with that.
And remember: In what situations do you hesitate?
Now, remember where you are , on the contrary , you feel at ease and confident. Home especially anyone because you do not hesitate ? And if you are very competent in a certain topic , you can keep the conversation going , not very embarrassed . Another secret struggle with shyness - to create a comfortable situation in uncomfortable places.
Remember the state of confidence and equity ( for example, when you explained the decision of his younger brother elementary tasks ) and " try on " the image back to the situation when it begins to dry out the mouth and vocal cords refuse to play any sounds . Not immediately, but you will start to receive .
Observe their victories, even small and reward yourself well for them - ice cream, going to the movies, a new thing can become a worthy reward for courage.
Wear something bright and challenging (or even funny and ridiculous ) for the trip to the grocery store . There is a simple calculation : you will attract more attention than usual - but it's not for long. But , coming back from this " guerrilla attacks " , you will find that survived. Nothing terrible has happened , and now you can get dressed in his usual style , and go for a walk - you began to feel much more relaxed .
And if you in your shyness have to even speak publicly (and how else call response in the classroom or in a university auditorium , and a report at a meeting with the boss ) ? We share one secret. You already think that you are directed mocking looks ? Stop it . Present at the listening position ... bunnies . Cute , fluffy , and long-eared . " See the " inner eye , how cute they move their ears , paws sorted . And now tell me - they , bunnies . It's not scary. Yes, you just hit them with his eloquence !
Again, do not forget to celebrate the victory . By the way, some of his exploits , you 'll forget that you are here today reminded the young man in the truck , you have to give way to an elderly woman ( oh, it was terrible ! ) , But a day is likely to fly out of memory - a trifle yet . But how do you turn pale and flushed , will be forgotten soon. So you and creates a false impression of their own excessive shyness. To avoid this - record your victory over fear , and they will become more and more .
Another exercise will help get used to the sound of his own voice . When you stay at home and no one would confuse you , not around - sing or recite poetry. ( Unless, of course , it's not late at night ) . Over time, your voice resonates in absolute silence , become something quite natural , and you will no longer be afraid to once again say something .
If you do not accept their shyness as a once and for all this trait , "cross" , which will carry a lifetime, or something else equally fatal , you're sure to cope with it . We just need to keep working on them.