Unrequited love - an ordeal, but stop loving someone who does not feel reciprocal feeling, even more difficult. Therefore, those who have not met the reciprocity of love, suffering from unrequited affection, gift of fate turned into a punishment. From the side it seems that the star-crossed lovers only need to pull yourself together and show little will to stop loving person. In fact, stop loving human willpower is very difficult, and usually it takes a lot of time. Psychologist how to stop loving a person can accelerate this process.
Unrequited love: causes, characteristics and types of love unrequited
All people fall in love, so we are organized. Some would call it fate, someone explain the basic instinct, but the fact remains that all the love submissive, this mechanism works smoothly. Its main drawback: lack of coordination. Love - only half the battle, and without reciprocity, it remains unrequited. Unrequited love is treacherous and dangerous. Exalted and passionate people, it pushes for rash actions and words, even crime. Rarely who manage on their own to quickly stop loving someone who does not love, but it happens. "Magic!" - Shout romance. "Self-control ..." - chuckle pragmatists. "Little of everything" - we say and explain their views.
Unrequited love - is , in fact, the situation is incomplete , one of the typical problems of the psychology of relationships. It would be naive to hope for help of higher powers : they do not love and do not send it to them to stop . Romantic affection and attendant vivid emotions - the result of a complex activity of the nervous system of humans , which is influenced by hormones, and the individual characteristics of the psyche. Therefore, to stop loving a person is possible only by consistent work in the following areas:
- Causes of accidents can be a lot of love. The most common - a one-sided love, when the tastes of two people and their relationship to each other do not match. In this case, the one who wants to stop loving, is to change your perspective on the beloved and the situation in general. Stop to consider what is happening as a tragedy or even worse - bad luck. Admit that unreasonable hopes pinned on your relationship, which has not even begun. It is not a cold calculation, but, nevertheless, you are expected to justify their plans and the object of your feelings you are disappointed. Be aware of this and stop offended. Often it is an insult, not love, keeping your attention on the other person. Admit it - and out of love will be much easier, because you love and do not have time.
- Stop loving person with whom broke up after the novel is much more complicated. But not all couples go to the altar, not all families are preserved for life. When one person goes and throws another, to have no choice but how to stop loving former partner. Maxim "if you like - let 'sounds very convincing, besides, it interrupts the chorus of memories, regrets and hopes, reinforced by shared photos, things, friends, pets, and even a variety of circumstances surrounding any loving couple. Have to admit that quickly fall out of love of a loved one does not work, it will take time.
- The most difficult case - when you have to stop loving a man who loved you too , but died . In such circumstances, it is impossible to lay the blame on someone else's indifference or generously give freedom , but include complaints of fate. The only thing that remains is to thank a loved one because he was with you until the last moment and did not fall out of love . Perhaps you , too, do not need to cease to love him ? Save the attachment in the heart as a memory of true love .
How to stop loving a person?
So you've decided to go the way of a reasonable person who does not believe in the unexplained and unconfirmed forces . Enough to survive , suffer and hope for the return of her lover . It's time to stop loving a man who no longer loves you first. Choose the appropriate method , or try one of the suggested :
- Occupational therapy.Unrequited love takes not only strength , but also time. Certainly for the period of your suffering backlog of cases requiring intervention. Banal cleaning, washing and / or repair of exhausting physically and forced to focus on the simple but important tasks. It is possible to immerse oneself in the professional activities and implement a couple of projects that have a positive impact on your career.
- Sublimation.Love inspires and inspires , but the true masterpieces of art created under the influence of grief from unrequited feelings. Turn your sadness into light sadness - it is much more constructive feeling. Energy from unrequited love send in creative direction - you'll be surprised how powerful it would be the source. Draw , write poems and stories , dance , bake cakes ! Turn your memories into a beautiful beloved , but a fictional way .
- Become better.In this way several advantages . Firstly, you are distracted from the sad thoughts . In the second place, to do useful work . Third, cultivate and rise above the problem and its perpetrator . Learn a foreign language, lose weight and / or tighten the figure in the gym , learn to dance the tango / walk on his hands / do origami , protect or diploma thesis - anything that will cause self-esteem.
- Fight fire- A common tactic. Indeed, why not to fall in love again, but this time the one who is worthy of your feelings and not leave alone? Now, after the sufferings , you have valuable experience to carefully choose a lover and build new lasting relationships .
- Inversion love.Continue to love , just send your love on those who need it : on himself. Treat yourself as applied to a loved one who has a broken heart. How would you comforted her younger sister or best friend ? Treat yourself , buy new clothes for a long time desired , allow yourself to dessert after dinner , buy a ticket to a beauty salon , etc.
- Trust.Let a loved one is gone, but there were people in your life who love you still . It is the parents , relatives , best friends . Reprimand girlfriend or mother , arrange peace bachelorette party , weep and complain enough. If you do not keep the problem in itself , relief comes quickly. In addition, people close to find the right words to comfort you .
- On the contrary.Stop idealizing lover. He is only a man , and most of advantages exist only in your imagination enamored . Whether it is at least partially as good as you think of it , he would not give you a broken heart , or have tried to smooth the separation. Remember , write and regularly reread disadvantages of whom want to fall out of love .
- Out of sight.Reminders of the past for anything, if you want to stop loving person. Hide joint photos , remove the cabinet of his gifts, re-read the message and stop writing and do not try to call . Each contact postpones the moment when you can fall out of love , and throws fuel to the fire of your torn senses.
- With a clean slate.Identify yourself Deadline for sorrow , and clearly mark the date of the beginning of a new life . It will be a day when you wake up in the morning, and will no longer rely on the return of the past feelings, and prefer to build a future , bright and happy . Someone sits on a diet , start jogging , or quit smoking Monday , and you will cease to love a man who does not deserve it .